The sand under the feet was moist and cooled bare soles. Waves moved on a beach with the next second join again the great ocean. A cold northern breeze pinched the skin and tousled the hair from time to time. The sun has almost disappeared beyond the skyline, left only a thin crimson line, which like an arrow pieced the distant sky. In that tardy hour the ocean begins to stir, to move, as if somebody has disturbed it, the grey mass of water was raging and rolling. The gale was approaching. Rain clouds came from the west and have already reached the coast. But the rain didn’t spill itself quasi was waiting for something.
She hadn’t been by the ocean for a long time, hadn’t inhaled its saltish smell. She stepped on the cold sand, enjoying its mildness and flexibility. She was purposeless, just wandered along the beach, and from time to time she made a step in the water to steep her legs. Especially, she liked to make a walk along the water during a thunderstorm, when nobody was in the eyeshot and nobody could even disturb her in her thoughtful mood. Sometimes she wanted to weep, sitting on the sand putting her face under raindrops. But there were no tears, the same way as she didn’t exist.
Everything was just so she wants it to be, to be in itself at least for a moment, to share you with the wind, rain and the ocean. Those were the most intimate moments of her being, and she didn’t want to share them with someone else.
The wind blow harder, waves turned into water barrages, destroying everything on the way and showing their veritable power.
She’s become frozen, because of her clothes which were only fine brown sweater and knee-deep flax blinders. But she ignored that chill, she just didn’t care. She hadn’t been by the ocean for so long.
Her solitude was broken with an acute dog’s barking behind her back. She turned round and was knocked off her feet at once by huge white dog. Here warm and slobbery tongue dribbled her face and the neck, and however she tried to get rid of him, nothing helped, the dog evidently was enjoying his action.
- Einstein, stopped, stopped! What I said? You’re a bad dog! – shouted a deep man’s voice.
The dog didn’t like this appeal in his address and in order to escape a penalty he cut off his execution. Strong hands promptly take her by the shoulders and helped to rise to her feet.
- Elle, fancy meeting you here. Why are you strolling in such weather alone?
The girl stopped wiping her face from the dog’s spittle and raised her eyes up on him. And why did the fate bring them together that foul weather day, ashore of Pacific? Why as a matter of fact with him but not with another man? The girl set her hair straight and smiled.
***
In a small bookshop was warm and cozy. Buyers, there were five-six of them, they walked unhurried between rows with a bookshelves. Some teenagers talked animatedly under just another comics; the seller at a counter – short Chinese – was explaining something to an old lady, poking his finger into book; thick man with glasses was talking on his cell – phone while reading a book; two young girls were leafing the pages through a glossy magazine and giggling; a young man in the very end of a shop turned over pages of a some writer’s heavy book.
Elle visited book shops not often, but seldom. She even didn’t know with what purpose did she came in that small bookshop, may be, she didn’t want to go in café there actually was a large number of people or in bowling-club there was no place for leaf to fall. May be, she just wanted to feel a coziness, the warmth and this store possessed the both.
The girl stepped up to the first occurring shelf and stretched her hand to the small volume of Ernest Hemingway. All happened accidentally, the moment her hand was laying on the book, somebody’s palm covered her and took the book. The girl turned her head and smiled: the pair of light green eyes stared at her with a lack of astonishment and unexpectedness, while two hands were holding one book from different sides.
- I’m sorry. – pronounced the young man with a deep voice. – I didn’t think that somebody in this world still reads the Hemingway.
- There is some Utopia in him, isn’t it? And I like that strongly.
- Well, I give it up to you. – said young man putting away his hand.
- Stop it, I don’t even want to buy it, just took the first close to the hand. – She returned him the book.
- It’s a strange coincidence… - he took the book and smiled. – I’m Frank.
- Elle.
He was undoubtedly charming. He wore shabby black jeans, white t-shirt and grey sweater with a hood. A piercing in the nose and tattoos on both hands completed his appearance. He didn’t stop smiling. A pair second they stood, watching each other and like exchanging only they understandable information.
- Look, maybe we continue our talk about Hemingway in the café across the street? – He offered.
- I don’t mind, you know.
***
Their first meeting that gave the beginning of something inside her, which evoked something long sleeping. Now, it was striving to come out, by degrees, but it brought her the discomfort. She felt this staying alone in her small flat, when it was quite dark, except neon signs shining in the window. She was sitting on the bed embracing the knee with hands and closed her eyes. It hurts her, this pain upward from the bottom of belly and grasped her all by degrees. It stings her throat, crept over the chest with a fire, rolled oneself into a ball in the stomach.
Tears involuntarily were rolling down her cheeks and she hurried up to wipe them off.
It was the pain of loneliness, so heartache and fervent. All her goals, strivings were broken in a flash with this violent wave.
She stood up and opened the window. Cold air sank into her tender skin, sobered up in a moment. She puffed, like in asthma attack, she opened and closed the mouth, as a fish which had been thrown out to the shore. It was unbearably, the pain had quieted down to break her inside with a new bout again.
She fell down the floor and began to cry.
***
- Are you all right? You seem to be not here. – Frank waved his hand to her face.
- Just thinking’, it doesn’t matter. It happens with me sometimes. – Elle imitated ones smile.
They were sitting in a huge auditorium waiting for the second act of ballet. The interval began and people were in hurry to have a snack and to seclude.
- You are too pale. – He gazed at her and she hasted to avert her face.
- What’s damn the matter with you? You behave yourself so strange. – Frank smiled, putting his arm round her shoulders.
- Stop, Frank, please. – She put his hand away. – I don’t want you to have problems with your wife if anybody will see us…
- Relax, its just friendly embrace, moreover, it would be impolite from me not to console you.
- What are you talking about? What a consolation? Am I crying? No, I don’t. Just do not, ok?
- Well, whatever you say. – Frank leaned back the stall and folded his arms. – I’ll go to have a smoke, how about you?
- I don’t want.
He stood up and went to the exit. She didn’t to follow him with her eyes. There is no ideality. His wife doesn’t like the ballet, that’s the reason Elle was here with him.
***
They were silently walking along the beach, each of them was on their own, and the silence became too painful as the rain clouds were growing heavy above their heads. She felt his stare, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at him.
- Do you feel cold, don’t you? – He broke the long silence.
- Not at all.
- I think the rain will came down in torrents. Its time to go home, Einstein! Come here, boy! Give you a lift? – He made the last try to look in her eyes.
She shook her head and turned away looking at the ocean, which had already become black and threatening. Tremendous waves were rolling on each other like competition in speed and strength. Far on the skyline there was a flash of lightning then something rattled.
- Let’s go, Elle! I’ll bring you home, you may catch cold! Don’t stay under the rain!
- Frank, you’d better go! I’ll go alone! – She threw on him, looking at running high element.
She doesn’t have home any more, there is nothing her to do, the emptiness is killing her. She will be staying under the rain, the wind will pull her hair, she will be shivering with a cold, but she will live without burning pain of solitude. Suddenly the rain had started. Heavy raindrops fell on her face, slipping on her neck and then breast, her hair drenched in a moment. She stood and alike a beautiful flower took up this vivifying moisture. Rain was warm, but the cold wind chilled to the marrow.
The girl looked back at the small bungalow standing not far away. It was late of autumn and the owners will hardly come in such weather on the beach. This season not so many people come here, except stray dogs.
She run to the bungalow, barefooted and almost stripped, got wet under the rain and chattering. If somebody saw her, she would seem to be mad.
The girl got on the porch and fell down the chair. She was chilling and tried to warm herself. The burning feeling had evoked again, she pretended that it didn’t exist, but she was mistaken. The girl hanged her head on the knee and close eyes tight.
Somebody went up the bungalow’s steps. Was it a policeman on a beat or just hobo – she didn’t care.
- I supposed you’ll stay here. – Frank sat down clasping her to his bosom. – Damn, you wet through.
She felt the warmth streaming from his body, hands, his heavy breathing and heart beating. He buried himself in her neck so she could feel the heat of his lips. Those smarting sensation didn’t hurt her any more, the other way there was the great number of butterflies fluttering inside. They created some kind of electricity, which was transmitted him. Her hands were found on his neck, she snuggled up to him stronger as if she was afraid of him to disappear. It was her salvation, the rescue from those agonizing pain, from sufferings. She bent forward his face. His eyes were closed, but the next moment opened wide and looked in her.
- I have dreams of you every night… - whispered she in his ear. – And every time it’s like a torture for me.
- What shall I do? What? I’m confused…
- Nothing. It will be going on… until you’re not with me. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me, but…
- You just love me.
She looked at him and hardly nodded, and then she turned aside and drew back. The rain was falling from the roof, making clear curtain that separated them from the rest of the world.
She asked him for a cigarette, he stretched a box and she began to smoke. They sat watching the rain falling and exhaling the smoke.
- Frank, tell me, why is it exactly you? Tell me why?
- I don’t know.
- Do you love your wife?
- Yes, I do.
- Look, if you love her – does it hurt you? No, because its reciprocal feeling, isn’t it? You give it – you get it. I have never loved before, until you appeared in my life. It’s like the tsunami, you know, one moment – and you do not exist any more, only emptiness.
Frank was watching her then folded her in his arms. She was lying in his embraces and looked into his eyes.
- You’re talking such rot now.
- Your wedding ring isn’t the nonsense…
- But neither the doomsday, right? – He smiled passing his fingers over her lips.
- Frank, I can’t stay this any more, and don’t want to. I made my decision. Hope, we’ll never meet each other, not in this life at least…
- Elle, what are you talking about?
Elle sprung to her feet and run downstairs. She was running at breakneck pace, stumbling but kept on running rather far off him, off bungalow, off herself. The rain was beating in her face, as if she didn’t notice that.
He caught her fast up and harshly turned round to himself.
- Let me go! I hate you! You’re…
But she couldn’t finish as he clasped her to bosom and kissed. That moment the sky collapsed, it was the main peak of everything. Two humans, two worlds were standing under the rain and enjoying the nature of ones creation. Cold drops flowed down their faces, but couldn’t extinguish the fire which flamed up on a small part of sand. And then the rain just stopped frustrated that revelation which was revealed by these human beings.
- We are in reality again. You don’t need to say any words. – She touched his lips. – I’ll keep in mind this moment. Goodbye…
He followed her with his eyes, the smell of freshness was still up in the air. The night was floating, it followed her and now nothing looked like she was here before.
The perfect world doesn’t exist.
She hadn’t been by the ocean for a long time, hadn’t inhaled its saltish smell. She stepped on the cold sand, enjoying its mildness and flexibility. She was purposeless, just wandered along the beach, and from time to time she made a step in the water to steep her legs. Especially, she liked to make a walk along the water during a thunderstorm, when nobody was in the eyeshot and nobody could even disturb her in her thoughtful mood. Sometimes she wanted to weep, sitting on the sand putting her face under raindrops. But there were no tears, the same way as she didn’t exist.
Everything was just so she wants it to be, to be in itself at least for a moment, to share you with the wind, rain and the ocean. Those were the most intimate moments of her being, and she didn’t want to share them with someone else.
The wind blow harder, waves turned into water barrages, destroying everything on the way and showing their veritable power.
She’s become frozen, because of her clothes which were only fine brown sweater and knee-deep flax blinders. But she ignored that chill, she just didn’t care. She hadn’t been by the ocean for so long.
Her solitude was broken with an acute dog’s barking behind her back. She turned round and was knocked off her feet at once by huge white dog. Here warm and slobbery tongue dribbled her face and the neck, and however she tried to get rid of him, nothing helped, the dog evidently was enjoying his action.
- Einstein, stopped, stopped! What I said? You’re a bad dog! – shouted a deep man’s voice.
The dog didn’t like this appeal in his address and in order to escape a penalty he cut off his execution. Strong hands promptly take her by the shoulders and helped to rise to her feet.
- Elle, fancy meeting you here. Why are you strolling in such weather alone?
The girl stopped wiping her face from the dog’s spittle and raised her eyes up on him. And why did the fate bring them together that foul weather day, ashore of Pacific? Why as a matter of fact with him but not with another man? The girl set her hair straight and smiled.
***
In a small bookshop was warm and cozy. Buyers, there were five-six of them, they walked unhurried between rows with a bookshelves. Some teenagers talked animatedly under just another comics; the seller at a counter – short Chinese – was explaining something to an old lady, poking his finger into book; thick man with glasses was talking on his cell – phone while reading a book; two young girls were leafing the pages through a glossy magazine and giggling; a young man in the very end of a shop turned over pages of a some writer’s heavy book.
Elle visited book shops not often, but seldom. She even didn’t know with what purpose did she came in that small bookshop, may be, she didn’t want to go in café there actually was a large number of people or in bowling-club there was no place for leaf to fall. May be, she just wanted to feel a coziness, the warmth and this store possessed the both.
The girl stepped up to the first occurring shelf and stretched her hand to the small volume of Ernest Hemingway. All happened accidentally, the moment her hand was laying on the book, somebody’s palm covered her and took the book. The girl turned her head and smiled: the pair of light green eyes stared at her with a lack of astonishment and unexpectedness, while two hands were holding one book from different sides.
- I’m sorry. – pronounced the young man with a deep voice. – I didn’t think that somebody in this world still reads the Hemingway.
- There is some Utopia in him, isn’t it? And I like that strongly.
- Well, I give it up to you. – said young man putting away his hand.
- Stop it, I don’t even want to buy it, just took the first close to the hand. – She returned him the book.
- It’s a strange coincidence… - he took the book and smiled. – I’m Frank.
- Elle.
He was undoubtedly charming. He wore shabby black jeans, white t-shirt and grey sweater with a hood. A piercing in the nose and tattoos on both hands completed his appearance. He didn’t stop smiling. A pair second they stood, watching each other and like exchanging only they understandable information.
- Look, maybe we continue our talk about Hemingway in the café across the street? – He offered.
- I don’t mind, you know.
***
Their first meeting that gave the beginning of something inside her, which evoked something long sleeping. Now, it was striving to come out, by degrees, but it brought her the discomfort. She felt this staying alone in her small flat, when it was quite dark, except neon signs shining in the window. She was sitting on the bed embracing the knee with hands and closed her eyes. It hurts her, this pain upward from the bottom of belly and grasped her all by degrees. It stings her throat, crept over the chest with a fire, rolled oneself into a ball in the stomach.
Tears involuntarily were rolling down her cheeks and she hurried up to wipe them off.
It was the pain of loneliness, so heartache and fervent. All her goals, strivings were broken in a flash with this violent wave.
She stood up and opened the window. Cold air sank into her tender skin, sobered up in a moment. She puffed, like in asthma attack, she opened and closed the mouth, as a fish which had been thrown out to the shore. It was unbearably, the pain had quieted down to break her inside with a new bout again.
She fell down the floor and began to cry.
***
- Are you all right? You seem to be not here. – Frank waved his hand to her face.
- Just thinking’, it doesn’t matter. It happens with me sometimes. – Elle imitated ones smile.
They were sitting in a huge auditorium waiting for the second act of ballet. The interval began and people were in hurry to have a snack and to seclude.
- You are too pale. – He gazed at her and she hasted to avert her face.
- What’s damn the matter with you? You behave yourself so strange. – Frank smiled, putting his arm round her shoulders.
- Stop, Frank, please. – She put his hand away. – I don’t want you to have problems with your wife if anybody will see us…
- Relax, its just friendly embrace, moreover, it would be impolite from me not to console you.
- What are you talking about? What a consolation? Am I crying? No, I don’t. Just do not, ok?
- Well, whatever you say. – Frank leaned back the stall and folded his arms. – I’ll go to have a smoke, how about you?
- I don’t want.
He stood up and went to the exit. She didn’t to follow him with her eyes. There is no ideality. His wife doesn’t like the ballet, that’s the reason Elle was here with him.
***
They were silently walking along the beach, each of them was on their own, and the silence became too painful as the rain clouds were growing heavy above their heads. She felt his stare, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at him.
- Do you feel cold, don’t you? – He broke the long silence.
- Not at all.
- I think the rain will came down in torrents. Its time to go home, Einstein! Come here, boy! Give you a lift? – He made the last try to look in her eyes.
She shook her head and turned away looking at the ocean, which had already become black and threatening. Tremendous waves were rolling on each other like competition in speed and strength. Far on the skyline there was a flash of lightning then something rattled.
- Let’s go, Elle! I’ll bring you home, you may catch cold! Don’t stay under the rain!
- Frank, you’d better go! I’ll go alone! – She threw on him, looking at running high element.
She doesn’t have home any more, there is nothing her to do, the emptiness is killing her. She will be staying under the rain, the wind will pull her hair, she will be shivering with a cold, but she will live without burning pain of solitude. Suddenly the rain had started. Heavy raindrops fell on her face, slipping on her neck and then breast, her hair drenched in a moment. She stood and alike a beautiful flower took up this vivifying moisture. Rain was warm, but the cold wind chilled to the marrow.
The girl looked back at the small bungalow standing not far away. It was late of autumn and the owners will hardly come in such weather on the beach. This season not so many people come here, except stray dogs.
She run to the bungalow, barefooted and almost stripped, got wet under the rain and chattering. If somebody saw her, she would seem to be mad.
The girl got on the porch and fell down the chair. She was chilling and tried to warm herself. The burning feeling had evoked again, she pretended that it didn’t exist, but she was mistaken. The girl hanged her head on the knee and close eyes tight.
Somebody went up the bungalow’s steps. Was it a policeman on a beat or just hobo – she didn’t care.
- I supposed you’ll stay here. – Frank sat down clasping her to his bosom. – Damn, you wet through.
She felt the warmth streaming from his body, hands, his heavy breathing and heart beating. He buried himself in her neck so she could feel the heat of his lips. Those smarting sensation didn’t hurt her any more, the other way there was the great number of butterflies fluttering inside. They created some kind of electricity, which was transmitted him. Her hands were found on his neck, she snuggled up to him stronger as if she was afraid of him to disappear. It was her salvation, the rescue from those agonizing pain, from sufferings. She bent forward his face. His eyes were closed, but the next moment opened wide and looked in her.
- I have dreams of you every night… - whispered she in his ear. – And every time it’s like a torture for me.
- What shall I do? What? I’m confused…
- Nothing. It will be going on… until you’re not with me. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me, but…
- You just love me.
She looked at him and hardly nodded, and then she turned aside and drew back. The rain was falling from the roof, making clear curtain that separated them from the rest of the world.
She asked him for a cigarette, he stretched a box and she began to smoke. They sat watching the rain falling and exhaling the smoke.
- Frank, tell me, why is it exactly you? Tell me why?
- I don’t know.
- Do you love your wife?
- Yes, I do.
- Look, if you love her – does it hurt you? No, because its reciprocal feeling, isn’t it? You give it – you get it. I have never loved before, until you appeared in my life. It’s like the tsunami, you know, one moment – and you do not exist any more, only emptiness.
Frank was watching her then folded her in his arms. She was lying in his embraces and looked into his eyes.
- You’re talking such rot now.
- Your wedding ring isn’t the nonsense…
- But neither the doomsday, right? – He smiled passing his fingers over her lips.
- Frank, I can’t stay this any more, and don’t want to. I made my decision. Hope, we’ll never meet each other, not in this life at least…
- Elle, what are you talking about?
Elle sprung to her feet and run downstairs. She was running at breakneck pace, stumbling but kept on running rather far off him, off bungalow, off herself. The rain was beating in her face, as if she didn’t notice that.
He caught her fast up and harshly turned round to himself.
- Let me go! I hate you! You’re…
But she couldn’t finish as he clasped her to bosom and kissed. That moment the sky collapsed, it was the main peak of everything. Two humans, two worlds were standing under the rain and enjoying the nature of ones creation. Cold drops flowed down their faces, but couldn’t extinguish the fire which flamed up on a small part of sand. And then the rain just stopped frustrated that revelation which was revealed by these human beings.
- We are in reality again. You don’t need to say any words. – She touched his lips. – I’ll keep in mind this moment. Goodbye…
He followed her with his eyes, the smell of freshness was still up in the air. The night was floating, it followed her and now nothing looked like she was here before.
The perfect world doesn’t exist.
Обсуждения A small world